Scared

Photograph courtesy Nik MacMillan at instagram.com/nikarthur

Overall, though, I’m very scared. What if this happened? What if that didn’t happen? What if it didn’t work out? But, what if it did work out? What will I do then? How will I do that? What will happen? What happens next? It’s usually fear. Fear that I won’t achieve it. Fear that I’ll make a fool of myself. Fear that I will in fact achieve it and would not know how to handle the compliments or criticism or skepticism and so I’ll just throw in the towel at a safe, early enough, stage. Fear that I’ll not be happy if I don’t win. Fear of how magnificently I’ll act if I’m very close to achieving it and unsure if I’ll be able to own up to my desires and needs. It’s fear. One or the other kind. The excuses. Bitterness. Low confidence. This act of playing too “girl next door” or “down to earth”. Is misleading. Shine. Glow. Own up to your sparkle and glitter. Walk and dare to throw around that glare. Blind the passers by. Imagine the power of fearlessness. Unsheathed. Raw. Assertive. Sure. Prominent. Yeah.

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