Thanking myself

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Have you ever said to yourself this: “Thank you. Not you, the physical body. But you, the you. The true you. For doing everything that you do. For managing. For trying. For surviving. Thank you. For everything.”, “I love you. I accept you. For all that you are.”, “I’m sorry. For all the carelessness that I inflict on you.”, and “Please forgive me. Forgive all my carelessness towards you, your true desires, your true feelings, for not coming through with my words of commitment to you.” I did. Today. As I showered and forced my thoughts to really focus on every part of my body as I lathered it. And, at the end, I said those four things. I said them with the deepest and purest meaning that I could consciously afford. And the “Thank you” made me almost teary. It made me realize how much I have neglected and been ungrateful to myself. And that’s why, somewhere or the other, I stay so insatiable from my outer world and the people in it. Because I myself haven’t genuinely been nice to myself. Hence, I crave it all that much. No commitment is truer than a true one to yourself. It needs no vocalizing. It needs no parameters of anyone but yours.

When I looked myself in the mirror, all of my face full of hair needing waxing and threading, and all the little shower droplet diamonds studding my beautiful, thick, black braid that’s the envy of a lot of women I know, I told myself that I will fix it all. I will do it. Applying coconut oil on my feet which are now not that dry, but sore due to a recent sprain, I thought I’ll work on one issue at a time and fix it all. Just like I have so far fixed the clutter scenario of our clothes, the shoes of our house, our drawers with their stuff, the suitcases of the house and our cables. Going strong. I’ll handle one issue at a time at the most root level and resolve it for the best.